


Picking up the shards

by InnerCinema



Category: Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol, F/M, Gen, Natasha understands, POV Tony Stark, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, post break up Pepper/Tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-06
Updated: 2014-11-06
Packaged: 2018-02-24 09:09:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2576003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InnerCinema/pseuds/InnerCinema
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chapter 3 of  <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/2158854/chapters/4719285">Broken</a> by the amazing letthesongtakeflight from Tony's POV</p>
            </blockquote>





	Picking up the shards

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Broken](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2158854) by [letthesongtakeflight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/letthesongtakeflight/pseuds/letthesongtakeflight). 



> The moment I read Chapter 3 of the beautiful Natasha/Tony fic [Broken](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2158854/chapters/4719285) I had the words from Tony's POV in my mind and they were begging to be written down.  
> Thank you for inspiring me as much as you do!!

_And we never cry for love_

_ We're superheroes _

 

Edguy had stopped making sense by midnight but he could still hear the faint echo of their lyrics in his head.   
  


 

By the time Natasha came in, he had yet to cry but that didn’t mean he felt less miserable. He had stopped crying when he was eight. Stark men did not cry.

 

Maybe he should ask Edguy to change the lyrics.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

Tony raised his gaze when he heard her voice. For a moment he hated that she found him, he did not want company, hell, he did not want pity. But then, he found, he surprisingly did not mind her presence.

 

“Pepper left.” Spoken out loud, the words held finality, sounded like defeat.

 

“Did you expect it?” Her proximity was familiar and her matter-of-fact attitude was calming in a way. At least for a moment because that was the question, wasn’t it? The one he had tried to drown with alcohol because he did not want to accept the answer.

 

“We've been fighting, a lot, about everything." He acknowledged the refill of his tumbler with a nod and downed it in one go. The burning had become constant by now but it was good. His thoughts were muted for a blissful moment.

 

"Is there anything you can do to fix it?"

 

The intention was good, he was sure, but everything was just coming back, crashing like a wave. Fuck. "I tried everything. Buying her stuff, taking her places, letting her make decisions – I even blew up all my suits for her." He knew he would feel embarrassed about the breaking of his voice later when he was sober but right now he didn’t really care. Hell, he probably wouldn’t care in the morning either. Pepper was gone. He had fucked up again.

 

"Was that was it was all about? You blew them up for Pepper?" Her soft voice pulled him out of his own mind. He nodded.

 

"I wanted to show her that she meant more than them. That she was the most important thing in – " He rubbed the heels of his hands hard against his eyes.

 

_ We never cry for love _

_ We're superheroes _

 

"Let it out. I won't judge"

 

Her words broke the dam he had built decades ago. But contrary to his last time, instead of harsh words there were arms wrapping around him. He did not need caress and nice words, hope. He needed someone to hold on to but the words fell from his lips nevertheless.

 

"Why did she leave, Tash?"Why is everything I do _not good enough_?"

 

"It's not your fault. You did all that you could to salvage the relationship, and no one could have done more in your place." He did not fully believe her, these were just words, but at least he felt a bit more like himself again. Enough to bring a few inches of distance between them.

 

"Then _why_?" Because that was the question, more burning than her first because he did not know the answer.

 

"I know next to nothing about love, Tony.” His throat felt raw and for a moment he was disappointed by her answer. Only for a moment. “But what I do know is that relationships are messy. You have to give and you have to take. It's compromises and sacrifices and appreciation – and if even one of you can't accept that, then it's gonna fall apart."

 

Her opinion was different from anything he’d heard about relationships. No one had told him about the ugly side of that particular coin. Everyone just expected he already knew from experience but in this moment he realized, everyone before Pepper had been held at arm-length. Those few relationships before had been nothing but a farce, a play with good actors.

 

"For someone who doesn't know much about love, you give good relationship advice."

 

Her laugh was refreshing and almost lured out the shadow of a smile. "It's just from experience. At least it explains why my past relationships never worked out."

 

"Are you the giver or the taker?" Now that he knew her, long after Natalie, he could see her as both though giving probably required quite an amount of trust on her part. She was protective, he had found out during their insomniac anonymous meetings but she was also autonomic enough to take what was hers. A remainder of her past perhaps when she had to take all she could get to survive.

 

"I guess that we – me and my exes – were all takers. We're selfish and short-sighted, we wouldn't weather it out when things turned sour."

 

"And what about me?" He only realized he had leant closer when he felt her breath on his skin.

 

"Giver, as much as you pretend to be a selfish jerk."

 

He did not think and just gave her a grin that partly faked arrogance but for the larger part sincerely adventurous and daring. Nothing mattered anymore so perhaps he could be a bit more audacious and recklessly try what he had never dared to do when she was still Natalie or when she was still the Black Widow.

 

Now she was Natasha and in the blink of an eye his lips were on hers stealing a kiss from a deadly assassin. He had not known how he needed this now until it happened. Falling back into his routine of seeking physical comfort when he was upset was easy. It was easier since Natasha obviously got him. She understood the need for relief, no strings attached.

 

He was drunk enough not to overthink, to let passion and want take the wheel. 

 


End file.
